Intro: Gm

VERSE 1:

Gm              Bb/G
Mary Long is a hypocrite
     C/G                                         Gm
She does all the things that she tells us not to do
Gm                            Bb/G
Selling filth from a corner shop
       C/G                                 Gm
And knitting patterns to the high street queue
Gm                     Bb/G
She paints roses, even makes them smell good
     C/G                                 Gm
And then she draws titties on the khazy wall
Gm                     Bb/G
Drowns kittens just to get a thrill
C/G                       Gm
And writes sermons in the Sun-day Chronicle

CHORUS:

Eb           Bb                   F C   Gm
How did you lose your virginity, Ma-ry Long ?
Bb             F                    C7
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?

VERSE 2:

Mary told Johnny not to write such trash
Said it was a waste of public money
She made a fuss, they made apologies
But everybody thought the show was funny
When the nation knew you'd had children
It came as such a surprise
We really didn't know you'd had it in you
How you did it we can only surmise

CHORUS:

How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?

VERSE 3:

Mary Long, you're not alone
But you're a long way behind our times
What we do in full frontal view
Is more honest than your clean-up mind 
What I'm saying, Mary Long is
When you can spare a minute
Go find your friend the porny Lord
Dig your self a hole and jump in it

CHORUS:

How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?